Surviving Midlife Crisis –

February 13, 2021 8 Comments

Don’t just jump, take your time!


Forty is not a great age, to be at, especially if you have not peaked as a human being. If you are not there yet, you may consider reviewing the choices you are making with your life now, because they are setting the tone of how successful you will feel when you reach the peak age.

When it hits you and you realize you have not achieved anything in your life, as you would have thought you should have, at that stage in your life. Then you are up for a great challenge/surprise (very unpleasant).

I fell apart when I got to this realization and thought I could come up again and survive the fall, it felt like the end of me. The first signs of the fall are: You start asking yourself if you have succeeded in what you had planned to achieve in life, and if not, what you can do to rectify that. It sounds simple if I put it that way. You feel like you are running out of time, you think a quick fix will do.

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Nothing such as a quick fix in reality.


Everything around you seems to have no value, even the most valuable assets you have managed to acquire in life, seem to be worth nothing at all. A quick solution is needed to fix it all in a second because you have not time to start life over. It has taken you forty years to get here. You feel like the Israelite who is not to be allowed to enter the land of milk and honey.

I remember feeling very depressed that there was no hope in my life. You then start looking, thinking of quick fixes: Win the lotto – You have no control over this solution, you probably had been trying to win it since thirty. Rob a bank! – You think to yourself, you might as well do it; your life has no value so you might as well take a gamble and see what you get, which is the same as killing yourself and end your misery- Hmm! What is the quickest way that has the list pain? Will your loved ones get the money from the life insurance? Worst of all you do not even own life insurance.

If you have a supportive family this can be a very nice do-over or rather a makeover. If you are alone Eish! It is a problem you might not survive. Hold on there is hope. Well, I survived and my family was turning on me.

I would like to share my journey with you. That is if you are interested in finding your way out and plan for a new, better, and improved second half of your life.

Let’s start at why you would have felt this way in the first place and what you can do to improve your situation.

True or not Stereotypes!


Society tells us that a Mid-life crisis is a change in life, a transition where you question your identity and self-worth. This is usually between the ages of 45 to 65. It is physiological and it is evoked by life milestones that focus on your age, death, and lack of accomplishment in your life. These feelings may lead to the following conclusions.

  • Leaving your life partner for a younger maiden – you hope this will make you feel young again.
  • Buying an expensive sports car, which you cannot afford – you hope to be seen and youthful and hip.
  • Leaving your job and starting your own business – you hope to meticulously strike it rich and have all the money you need in life.


All these ideas are reactive in an attempt to fix the physiological changes you are experiencing and without proper planning, they will be dropped the minute you lose interest, find something better to do. This may go on through till you are 65. What you actually need the idea that will lead you to recognize the true wealth in your life and how to grab this true wealth with both arms.

Like I said you have to be prepared for the long end of this journey, True wealth lies in time and patience. And this is how you work towards true wealth in life.

The one, who fails to prepare for future opportunities, fails to prepare for success.


While searching for my True Wealth, I was sold an infatuation to Online Wealth. It was easy because it had all the perks for a man in a Midlife crisis. Quick fix feels. Make passive cash, do whatever you want in life, and get to leave your job to live an amazing life.

The online world sells you a dream and dreams are fairly easy to achieve, you just need to sleep and pronto you are dreaming. The bigger your dream, the more sold you are to the idea. It is not a bad thing because some people need this kind of motivation, just to get them started. Let’s call it infatuation motivations.

When compared to Love an infatuation is short-lived but it is enough to get you committed and started whether this will last, will depend on the intensity of your infatuation. Love is more for a longer run, say for a lifetime, and unless you love yourself at that time the choices you make might be detrimental to your survival.

Some new members who are sold the online business option – Infatuation Motivation (IM), can survive the infatuation stage and continue to fall in love with their newly founds “Passion” and succeed. If IM is an option for you, or whatever your option may be, to keep things real my first advice to you is to ask yourself, “What the hell am I signing up for”?

Let’s start at the beginning.


To start here is some recommended reading; to give you an overview of what online business is and how to get over some of the challenges you might have, in facing your demons. You can read about my motivation to share this story with you. Humble Beginning-About E.O.B.A.

Facing your Demons!


Though you may be mindless at this stage and fear seems like it does not exist. Subconsciously you may still be holding on to the fears of your past. These may also be the reason for your lack of success in the first half of your life. I learned that accepting who I am and not trying too hard to change who I am, for people who don’t give a damn about me was a great start. Fear and Business.

 

Preparing for future opportunities.


You might be told that anyone can do it in this business! While part of that may be true it will not kill you to start polishing up on some of your basic technological skills and planning skills. These skills will absolutely give you the upper hand when you start using a computer or laptop for all your business. I have a series called Business Planning Strategy 101, that will help you to start thinking and planning instead of making compulsive decisions that are detrimental in a state of Crisis.

Prepare for the worst while you anticipate the least.


There is nothing such as over-planning over 90% of businesses fail due to lack of planning. Of these 40% will fail due to failure to follow a set plan and 50% of any business will fail in under five years. With these kinds of statistics, you can see how Infatuation Motivation will not work. If you want to have a chance to make it, plan. Start from within, all the moments that lead you to where you are, are unique to whom you are, they are your Most Valuable Possessions (MVP), know them, and use them. What is your insight?

Easy come easy go – Don’t squander your wealth!


Feeling this way will quickly lead to unnecessary spending. Remember the analogy of the sports car. That it is to compensate for something that you are short off, an extension of what you do not possess is nothing. Money planning is the first step to financial freedom. That is if you are struggling with money wisely. If you have plenty still there is no need to waste it as the gratification you get is short-lived. What is a Business Budget?

Baby steps – One foot in front of another.


In a state of crisis, you are compelled to act fast and eradicate the source of your frustration. This leads to haste and loss of connection with reality. In the end, you will return to your life again and if you would like the transition to go smoothly, you do not want to return disappointed with the results because you were in a rush. Accepting that it will take time will help you relax and reduce the amount of stress that you are already experiencing.

Usually, I would advise someone to think twice before making a move, in this case, you may have to think, unthink, and rethink before making a move. That is planning to act and acting out your plan before the execution of the plan. How to create an action plan?

Pro-action: React not to your situation.

By this time you should be relaxing into your conundrum. Time is the issue. It might take you an hour to read through my posts. It might take you a day. That is an IM way to do it. I know you may be in pain, frustrated, and in need of a quick fix. There is no miracle tablet, even though at the end it will fill like that. The trick is in allowing time to pass while you prepare for the opportunities that are coming in your later future. For it, to last it really has to take some time.

Familiarize yourself with some of the products you will use to build your online empire, research tools, building, and graphic tools. If you are not interested then you can save yourself the hustle of Infatuation Motivation (IM).

There are many a thousand articles online, about building an online business.

Here are some articles to get you started:


Some tools and reviews:


Point of no return.


This is where you make the choice to have a better and fulfilling future. Your proactive plan is set in motion. Implementing this plan will not be an easy ride. By now, you will have realized the importance of taking your time and have accepted your new way of life. You should be at peace and the only thing in front of you is making this new venture work to your advantage. Strategic Plan Implementation Steps.

Time frames are important.


If you find a reason to be motivated to face another day you are set. Look not to what others can do for you but be the change you would like to see in your life. Set goals daily and go after them. A positive mindset should be your daily bread. Remember where you have been and where you want to see yourself.

I have not spoken about your life, mainly because I needed you to commit to saving you first. Now that you are coping, sadly your life will try to derail you. It is not a bad thing. As it does, you will have the new energy to repurpose the life challenges so that they line up with your newly found inspiration? Take the life blows as a challenge to find a middle ground, where the past forty years are not just lost, but they form part of this revival after your crisis. You now realize that you have been successful and you continue to succeed.

When you are ready, start your new and improved journey here. Try my top recommendation 3 Easy Steps – Your Online Business, Wealthy Affiliate.

I hope this has been a revelation to you as it was for me, a revaluation indeed to a better future. If this has helped you, please share it with those you think might be in need of a boost. We are not meant to suffer but to live our lives to the best of our capability. And we can’t if we are suffering.

I wish you a happy life ahead as an Affiliate Marketer.

Cheers,

Ntlhane

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8 thoughts on “Surviving Midlife Crisis –”

  1. Yes, we can all suffer from a mid-life crisis and “life events” can make it even worse.  (P.S. If you think 40 is bad, try 60)  I think the most important thing you said in this entire piece is “Set goals daily and go after them”.  If you focus on your daily goals, one of these days, you’re going to look and realize you’re exactly where you want to be.  Thank you for the encouragement!

     
    1. Thank you, Cynthia, for taking the time to read.

      I am glad that you could find one thing that helps. All the best, keep setting goals and hopefully, you find yourself where you are happy to be. Happy Valentine’s Day.

      Ntlhane

       
  2. My wife and I was just taking about this tonight. Its amazing how mid life crisis affects so many men, its as if they are trying to find themself seeking mentally to roll back the hands of time. Thanks so much for sharing.

     
    1. Hi, Norman.

      This is a topic that is in everyone’s conversations especially now in the time of Corvid, Loss of employment many are falling prey to this Crisis. You are most fortunate you have your Wife and are able to share about this difficulty. Some couples and marriages are breaking up due to this Crisis.

      I agree men are greatly affected. Finding something worthwhile is important, something that still allowed you to continue with your life as it was. Crisis changes are full of repercussions that affect the whole household negatively if you don’t find something positive.

      Thank you, for reading.

      Ntlhane

       
  3. This is such a great post!

    Even if you’re not in your 40’s it still is very inspirational. I think because of social media younger people tend to put the pressure of achieving something a lot earlier than they used to.

    This could be of value for them as well.

    I couldn’t help but notice you mentioning Wealthy Affiliate. It really is a great platform when it comes to creating an online business.

    Keep up the good work!

     
    1. Thank you, Rogier, for taking the time to read through my post.

      I agree that this phase does apply to the younger generations too. Social media does have a toll on everyone who uses it. I mentioned Wealthy Affiliate because I found a way out of my Crisis through their Awesome program. I found something of value to do and in the end, it will provide freedom and financial support to me and my loved ones.
      Lack of financial stability and freedom of choice, are some of the main courses of the psychological shift and loss of self-confidence. I just hope that many more can find that kind of help and support, too.

      Ntlhane

       

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